Entry for May 07, 2009
I often get lost in Thought because it is unfamiliar territory to me. It isn\’t that I am incapable of Thinking. It\’s just that I have far more important things to do with my mind. Like laze around. Come to think about it, if you laze around mentally, you are actually thinking about lazing around, right?
How do we think? I personally think in words. I speak to myself inside my head. I\’ll be like, \”Hey me, what do I think about this?\” And then I\’ll answer…\”I think it\’s a great idea!\”
My thoughts are like compartments. Or cubicles. In an office. The sort of Dilbert-esque office cubicle. In Cubicle 1 – we have the main thought, the current thought that is going through my mind. In Cubicle 2 and Cubicle 3 are the concurrent thoughts, which run in tandem with the main thought.
In Cubicle 4 is what I think is the subconscious thought; the thought that runs with the main thought but is thinking something along the lines of \”I am thinking about this particular subject…\” And there will be a thought somewhere behind there that goes like this…\”I am thinking about thinking – how weird is that?\”
I sometimes wonder about my sanity. Then again, can an insane person wonder about her own sanity?
Right now, I am wondering about my name. Poisoned Ink. It sounds cool, doesn\’t it? Really cool. The \’poisoned\’ part I can explain. It\’s Socrates, who died by drinking poison hemlock. Hence…\’poisoned\’. The \’ink\’ part could be explained by the fact that I write. After all, writing usually involves the use of ink. But I don\’t so much write (in the stricter sense of the word) as ramble without direction like a headless chicken, as I am doing right now.
But what is in a name, right?
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What\’s Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What\’s in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call\’d,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.\”
I am a little narcissistic – if I spelled that right. I like heading my entries with pictures of me. And I like sounding smarter than I really am. I also like lobster, but I hate prawns. And I want to go to a fancy restaurant where you have to dress really really well. I want to be a society girl.
Upon reflection…I might not be completely sane. But then again – who is, right?
3 comments May 7, 2009
Tags: Nonsense
For Those of You Who Read Terry Pratchett
\”When dragons belch and hippos flee
My thoughts, Ankh-Morpork, are of thee
Let others boast of martial dash
For we have boldly fought with cash
We own all your helmets, we own all your shoes
We own all your generals – touch us and you\’ll lose.
Morporkia! Morporkia!
Morporkia owns the day!
We can rule you wholesale
Touch us and you\’ll pay.
We bankrupt all invaders, we sell them souvenirs
We ner ner ner ner ner, hner ner hner by the ears
Er hner we ner ner ner ner ner
Ner ner her ner ner ner hner the ner
Er ner ner hner ner, nher hner ner ner (etc.)
Ner hner ner, your gleaming swords
We mortgaged to the hilt
Morporkia! Morporkia!
Hner ner ner ner ner ner
We can rule you wholesale
Credit where it\’s due.\”
3 comments May 4, 2009
Tags: Pratchett
A Small Glimpse Into My Life
All this, believe it or not, belongs solely to me. All this stuff is mine. The list goes on…
- Jasmine Gel
- Body Rub
- Hair Products (I have 15 different hair products)
- Gel
- Paste
- Hair Wax
- Cream
- Gloss
- Perfumes (I have ten)
- Skin Cleansers and Moisturizers
- Lipsticks and lipglosses
- Makeup (You do not want to know)
- Deodorant (lol)
- Other Stuff (skin food and stuff)
Now imagine a house with 3 girls. The oldest is 20, the middle is 19, the youngest 17. With a single father who is, in recent years, turning into a very, and I mean VERY, religious man.
It would make a good sitcom, you know.
1 comment April 30, 2009
Tags: Personal
Bored Ramblings of an Electric Sheep
sheet of paper. Without a cloud there will be no water; without water,
the trees cannot grow; and without trees, you cannot make paper. So
the cloud is in here. The existence of this page is dependent upon the
existence of a cloud. Paper and cloud are so close.
- Thich Nhat Hahn
Makes you think, doesn\’t it? It\’s sounds so…Zen. But what do you expect, right? It\’s a saying by an expatriante Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, according to Wikipedia, which is like the general knowledge bible of my life. The only reason why I have it up is because I think it\’s a pretty cool saying. I\’m not converting to Buddhism or anything – I like my not-very-religious-Sunday-mass-churchgoing self the way it is. In other news…I went to an art gallery show yesterday. No pictures, of course – artists are very touchy about photographs of their work. No cameras allowed – it said so at the entrance. I would have loved to say that I was touched and moved and inspired by the works on display. Truth be told, I admire the skill of the artists, yes. But touched and moved? There was a picture of a sunrise on a fishing village of some sort – I thought to myself…\”Pretty nice.\” And a woman next to me began talking about perseverance and solitude and I don\’t know what else. I\’m afraid to admit it, but I have to – I am a very shallow person; one who is unable to appreciate the finer points of art. I like pretty pictures. I like taking pictures of views that I think are nice. I am, however, completely rubbish at taking thought provoking pictures, I think. On a completely different topic – does anyone actually find SNL funny? Jay Leno is funny. SNL – not really. Jimmy Kimmel? Ugh. On another completely different topic – what is it with Heroes? It\’s like totally confusing. First, Sylar is acting all goody goody, and we think he\’s Peter\’s brother, and then it turns out that Angela and her husband (who\’s name I have already forgotten) lied to him. And the stories just go on and on and on. Nathan is like the bad guy. Then he\’s back being a good guy. Or not. He\’s a gray character. I am totally confused by it. I had a self made egg sandwich for breakfast today. Which is basically me frying an egg and placing it in between two slices of buttered bread. The yolk dribbled on my top, so I had to change it. And when I was about to change, I discovered that said dribbly yolk had managed to get into *gasp* my bra. So that had to go. I took a second shower today. Yolk on my body is just…icky. Someone asked me what my favorite color is. It\’s teal. I like teal. I want to be teal. Teal. Rhymes with steal. I have no idea why I added that part. Remember Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Turns out Rob N (my Texan ranger friend, lol) was right – there was a movie about it. The book is actually – and you are going to say \’NERD!\’ right now…very nice. I like books that deal with philosophical and moral and political issues. Fictional books with those elements. I can\’t stand reading Stephanie Swift or Christopher Paolini – but I can deal with Sophie Kinsella (well duh – which book reading girl can\’t?) Anyone remember the Sweet Valley Twins books? LOL. I LOVED them. So now, if you will excuse me, I am going to look for those books and reread them once again. Bye! And another piece of news – I got another piercing. Which means I have two piercings on my lower lip. It\’s called…\”Snakebite\”. So…look at picture above. Poor quality due to webcam\’s dislike for its mistress.
1 comment April 27, 2009
Tags: Rant
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
2 comments April 25, 2009
Tags: Bored
A Picture
Because Yahoo 360 is being an a$$, here is the picture I took on my $+up1d webcam with my piercing. Note the swollen lower lip. It still twinges.
Long story cut short…I got my lower lip pierced. Dad is unhappy. Says I went behind his back. I said \”I\’m not 16 any more and I don\’t need your consent\”. He says something else back. We argue and fight. I say rude stuff to him. He clams up and then bursts into mindblowing fury.
I am, in essence, a very very bad daughter.
Life sux.
5 comments April 3, 2009
The Latest Updates
I am 19 and grounded. Yeah – you read right. Me…grounded. Barred from leaving the house. NOT because of the piercings…or so he says. BECAUSE I was RUDE.
Okay…so maybe I raised my voice a little. So maybe I said some things…Actually, I feel so fricking guilty right now. I said some things that should not have been said. I broke the number one cardinal rule when arguing with my dad…broaching the very VERY vErY sEnSiTIvE subject about divorce.
I\’m not going to argue about it. He didn\’t explicitly say that I was not allowed to leave the house. It was more of a \”If you leave this house you don\’t have to come back in\” sort of way. Which is very scary and shocking.
I am currently unhappy. With my dad, with my unsympathetic sisters (b1+che$) and most of all with myself. Me and my stupid mouth. It\’s uncontrollable. You\’d think the stupid swelling would have sealed my lips shut or something, thus rendering me unable to speak. But nooooo…my mouth just flaps away and Dad gets hurt, and when he gets hurt, he gers really really mad.
If I was a son, he\’d probably have punched me in the face right now, and to hell with assault and battery charges. Thankfully I\’m a girl.
Do you know what really stinks? The fact that he\’s a guy who works most of the time and yet has to be the father and the mother to the three of us. Three daughters and one father. That\’s our dysfunctional family. He has never dated. He only sometimes goes out to meet his friends and do guy stuff. Mostly it\’s him at home with us. Three teenage daughters and him.
And I had to go and hurt his feelings.
I am a f*ck1ng 1d10t.
Believe it or not, I am one of those girls who curl up in bed, grab a soft toy (which is used ONLY for deco purposes) and cry.
You know, I\’ve had that toy for like ten years. LoL. Sentimental moment.
Life really ReaLlY rEALly Sucks Right Now.
2 comments April 3, 2009
Breasts
I was chatting with David – and I said I was bored and that I had no idea about what to write about if I were to blog. So he, being a typical testosterone filled male, suggested that I write about something that all men are obsessed about.
Breasts.
So what do I write about breasts? Breasts are breasts – I have never really thought about breasts. Okay – I lie. Every girl has thought about her breasts. Is it big enough? Or, in some people\’s cases…why are they so damn big???? *hint – Barbie*
I don\’t think I have ever used the word \’breast\’ so many times in one period of time before.
So what do I write about breasts?
Okay – from a girl\’s perspective…breasts are breasts. We\’ve grown up with our gurls, so it\’s not something special, I think. At least not for me. A guy asked me once…\”When you lie face down, does it hurt?\”
What kind of a weird question is that?
I am a C cup. Woohoo. Not. Whatever. I don\’t really care what size I am. I don\’t really get why guys like size so much. You see a girl with two melons on her chest and your eyes pop out. What is up with that?
So how does it feel to have breasts?
First of all, how do you expect me to answer that? I have had breasts for most of my life. When I jog (and yes, I do jog) they bounce. Which is why sports bras were created, to keep my chest from falling out of my top.
This is really a very weird blog. I really don\’t know what there is to talk about breasts. To me, they\’re normal. They\’re something I\’ve grown up having. It\’ll be like me asking a guy how it feels to have two things hanging in between their legs.
Ugh. That sounded so wrong.
The point I\’m trying to make is – breasts to us girls is like something normal, okay? But it is kinda weird right now, because when some obviously egotesticle guy (sorry, David ) asked me to blog about breasts, I just looked down and suddenly…Forget it. Forget IT! LOL.
I have had guys actually look down at my chest while they are talking to me. Which is not flattering – it\’s disgusting. It\’s demeaning. Take your eyeballs out of my cleavage.
Guys have no need for nipples. Now that is interesting. If guys have no need for nipples, why have them? The reason is that all guys were girls once. And then they got demoted from the perfection that is women into the imperfection that is men.
I think the Bible got it wrong. I think God created women in His image (because God is probably sexless). And then He realized that the first woman needed someone to look down on, someone to command, someone to control. Which is why He created man – to serve women. So guys – take a hint. LOL.
Speaking of the Bible, it was Eve who got tempted by the serpent, right? And then she called Adam to eat the forbidden fruit or apple or whatever it was. Which means what – it\’s our fault that sin entered the world?
Wrong. You know why? Because women are flawless. And as I keep telling people, I am more flawless than most (j/k).
I really can\’t write anything about breasts. They\’re like normal to me. What do you expect me to write about – all the dirty things you want me to do with them? Sorry – go find some hooker or call some phone sex hotline. I\’m wayyyy too good for you. *looks down from my very high pedastal of perfection*
This blog entry should probably be marked as mature. Except that it is immature. All guys (with the exception of my dad *at times* are immature. Priests don\’t count as guys, because they are men. What do I mean by \’guys\’? People in possession of the XY chromosome who have nothing but sex and sex and more sex on their minds.
Breasts. What rhymes with breasts? Rests? Crests? Nests?
Congratulations, David – you have just turned the word \’breasts\’, in my dictionary, at least, into a very weird word. Now I can\’t say this word without thinking of you.
That sounds even more wrong.
And that is my blog about breasts.
2 comments March 23, 2009
Ramblings of a Food Deprived Hungry Person
I\’ve got a few things on my mind. The first would be the Austrian guy who locked his daughter up and raped her. Had seven kids by her – 0ne of which died. What the hell is wrong with that guy? It\’s just…I don\’t want to think about it. It\’s despicable – for a guy like him, there can be no punishment on Earth that can fully punish him for what he has done.
Then again, the Bible says \”Judge not or you will be judged.\” Or was that from Aesop? I don\’t know, lol. But still – no matter how you look at it, there is no excuse…nothing that can justify what he did to her. Nothing at all. It is despicable – it is…there are NO WORDS that can fully encompass the pure essence of wickedness that he has committed.
It\’s disgusting.
Barack Obama on Jay Leno. I could make some snotty comment about what our President thinks about the Special Olympics, but his words were taken way out of context. Some people read too much into what is said.
Another thing – just to point this out…I do NOT want to have cyber sex with anyone. I do NOT want to do anything of the sort with anyone. So…
I watched the weirdest music video yesterday. It was Avenged Sevenfold\’s Little Piece of Heaven. It involved a guy killing his girlfriend, eating her heart and having sex with her dead body. And then the dead body rose up and killed him. And then they killed everyone together. The song was okay – there were some parts which I liked and other parts which I didn\’t like – which happens in pretty much every song I listen to. I especially liked the part where the guy and girl duet together. The music video is still weird…in a disturbing way.
It was in cartoon version though – imagine a live action version of that. No – I don\’t want to imagine a live version of that.
I have come to a sad realization recently. My life is boring. Very boring. I don\’t really do anything meaningful. I don\’t volunteer in charities, I stay away from church activities (because I don\’t fit into the whole \’Praise God\’ at every step of the way young adult groups). I don\’t really go out much – if I was a plant, I\’d be dead due to lack of sunlight. If I was a fish, I\’d be one of those fishes that live in an underwater cave and have pale milky white eyes.
I have also realized that I am very much behind on my studies. Which sucks – because I have exams soon. Oh God.
Actually, God can\’t help me now. I\’m too insignificant. LOL. Look at it this way – if all those saints have to suffer for so much and for so long until the Father Above intervenes, how long will it take for the Almighty to help me, humble (yeah right) and insignificant as I am?
I had a salad for dinner last night. And I skipped breakfast. I am running on empty, but I don\’t feel hungry. Why?
Because I think I have gained weight. Think. I haven\’t looked at the scales yet. I don\’t want to. I just feel fat. The \’I don\’t feel hungry part\’ was a lie. I\’m fricking hungry. Frick. That\’s a nice word. Friiiiiiiiiiick.
Fraaaaaaaaack.
Frick frack. Tic Tac.
I just realized something. I have no plans for tonight. Nothing. Zero.
Oh sh!t. I\’m gonna be bored.
2 comments March 21, 2009
Entry for March 19, 2009
So AIG receives $170 billion in bailout money, right? From the government – but ultimately, from what everyone is saying, the bailout money is taxpayers\’ money, right?
And in the fourth quarter of 2008, AIG posted a loss of $61.7 billion.
And now they\’re paying out bonuses.
I have changed my ambition – when I grow up (19 is not being grown up) I want to be in insurance. Preferably a nice high ranking job where I get paid for LOSING people\’s money.
Something is deeply wrong with this system. We reward people who lose our money. Well, not my money – but your money, probably. My taxpayer dollars (well, not mine – but you get the picture) is going to pay the same people who got me (or you – or us) into this financial mess in the first place.
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.
You know what\’s wrong with the government? I don\’t. I am the least likely person to be aware of the political undercurrents on Capitol Hill. But even I think that something is wrong about this. Then again – I\’m only going with the flow because everyone else I see on TV seems to be so completely outraged by this.
I am…Republican. Go figure.
This financial crisis thing is really really incomprehensible. We\’ve got experts telling us how this happened – but we don\’t have experts telling us how to fix this. I\’m beginning to think that we are screwed. Period.
What is the use in knowing how this happened if it doesn\’t help in solving any of it?
To be completely honest – I don\’t know what\’s happening. And the worst part is I\’m starting to care less and less every day. Until the stupid layoffs start affecting the people around me – I am sadly going to remain in my bubble of blissful stupidity and ignorance.
1 comment March 19, 2009
